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2 cows Economics


By Indforobama - Posted on 07 February 2009

The best I have seen in long time......Enjoy.

Read the entire list of 21 economic models as told through "cows". . .

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

VENTURE CAPITALISM - AN ICELANDIC CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then
buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

 

Way to funny!!!! You know if I had a choice, I think the socialism one is the least painful.

I agree Hope, right after the German corporation.

The Italian one is sadly true!
I was kinda identifying with the Italian one.... and dreaming of a dish of pumpkin ravioli with porcini mushrooms and a glass of deep red wine.
or a deep glass of red wine.

Here's a version from the rightwing libertarian leaning Free Republic.

It begins:

A CHRISTIAN:

You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST:

You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

A REPUBLICAN:

You have two cows. Your neighbor can get his own.

A DEMOCRAT:

You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

In this instance the the christian one is teh best followed by the democrat.
Yep, I agree w/that, BHO4Prez.

Later tonight when I come back from my "girls night out" the Russia  cows option will look better and better....

Go Grey Goose!!!!

 

 I will not throw the punch but I wil certainly throw the last.....President Barack Obama.

Maybe I have a male and female and breed them and then sell them{calves} also sell milk and the government tells me I don't want you succeeding and having success with your work so I'll tax you more and give it to the guy who doesn't want to work. In turn I 'll keep my share and divide it up amongst ones of my choosing. Liberalism

While I do realize that these are an attempt to be humorous but the way they present conservatism and liberalism adds fuel to the fire. These characterisations portrayed in this untruthful and unflattering way caused much of  the miss understand and hatred towards each. 

Both have merits but when each is carried to the extreme they are both wrong.

<give it to the guy who doesn't want to work>

Blakey, this is where you are buying into stereotypes that have little to do with reality.  Granted, there are some that milk the system, but they are NOT the majority of people who get public assistance.  You have to overcome the mindset of believing half truths and distortions, before you can really begin to think for yourself. 

 

 

LOL, Suzi, my point is there are ones who milk the system and its sad the farmer has to help pay for them. I know we all probably could do more than we do but it would be nice to see some just do something besides whine and wait for handouts. Sorry, that just drives me nuts when I see people expecting something for nothing. There ain't nothing owed to anyone.
But those who do are small in number compared to the others Blakey, and we ALL help pay for them  You can't punish the many for the few.  It's just like all Christians aren't Jerry Falwell.  Get it??
I know what you're saying Suzi, but I'd love to take a stick and hang a carrot on the end of it to makes these people move to get it. Granted they are few, sometimes a few is to many though. But gotcha Suzi, I get your point.
I wonder what Jesus with do with his two cows.

He would not eat the beef with the milk at the same meal.

"For those who plan with audacity and execute with vigor,
progress is the magnificent by product." 

That's why he turns the milk into wine!
Jesus would give the person both of his cows and tell them to sin no more.

Jesus would give the two cows away and still have 2 cows left

 I will not throw the first punch but I wil certainly throw the last.....President Barack Obama.

Jesus would turn the two cows into five thousand cows, and the milk into wine.

Get's my vote.
Jesus would SAVE them.

I like ALL the answers to what Jesus' would do with his cows.  Including the fact that the "What would a Christian do" answer is closest to the "hated" liberal position.

But there is a big difference between "you give one" and the "government takes one."
Does this mean you agree on the two cows for two people in principle, but you don't like the method??

I'm not Brandon, but yeah, that's basically it.

It's the whole "free will" thing versus "taking by force". 

"For those who plan with audacity and execute with vigor,
progress is the magnificent by product." 

I like Blake's idea.  If someone needs a cow, they should save their money and buy one. 

 

I'm pretty sure Jesus would disagree with you on that one.
I'm pretty sure he would, too.

Jesus spoke more to one's spiritual needs than one's material needs.

Matthew 6:26 

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 

That's right! Just like Billy Sunday, hired by the wealthy industrialists to preach to their overworked impoverished factory workers during the Guilded Age! "Your reward is not on this earth but in Heaven."

He could have added "who needs cows, there will be cows for you in Heaven."

But Jesus also said in Matthew 19:21

"If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me." 

Yes, he would tell you to buy/tradefor  2 so the next generation can be of benefit to you.
Whatever Jesus chose to do with the cows, only one thing is certain. Rush Limbaugh would call it wasteful and socialist and call him names.
I am completely positive if Jesus came back today, Rush would call him a fake and a wacko.
And God would smite him for it. YAY! :)

If God still went around smiting the wicked then we would probably live in a much better world.

I'm not gonna hold my breath. 

"For those who plan with audacity and execute with vigor,
progress is the magnificent by product." 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4S7jafRlJ0

 

This thread is gone..who knows where to

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