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My Dear John Letter

By Kim Miller - Posted on 14 November 2008

Dear John (a/k/a G.O.P.):

I have looked back at our relationship and I've decided it's just not working for me.  We've grown apart.  If this was meant to be a gracious break-up I'd take part of the blame, but I'm not in a merciful mood: It's all YOUR fault.  That might sting but it had to be said.

You told me that you were fiscally conservative, but you've raked up so much debt that I'm not sure we'll ever get back on track. 

You lied to me and pushed for a war under false pretenses, and then you intended to stay there "until we win" when you couldn't even tell me what "winning" would look like.

You cheated on me with James Dobson, and you allowed him to take over our relationship.

You weren't good at resolving our differences of opinion; when we'd argue, you just accused me of not loving my country.

You saw me pulling away, so you tried to lure me back with Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber. Do you really underestimate my intelligence that much? That really opened my eyes... I thought I meant more to you than that.

Oh, you say you want me back -- Bobby Jindal told me. 

But getting back together just won't work. You've changed -- you're not the person I fell in love with 28 years ago.  Besides, you've lied to me so many times that I'm not sure the offer is sincere.  It's very clear that we are not the right people for each other at this time in our lives.

If you think I'm only leaving you because I've been lured by another guy, nothing could be farther from the truth.  I want my Independence. I'm moving into a new phase in my life.

I hope you don't see this as losing something, but rather as having gained knowlege and wisdom.  Whatever happens, I just want you to know I've installed new locks and changed my phone number.  Don't try to call me. 

If all the "moderates" and "real conservatives" leave the GOP, what will be left? Only the religious right reactionaries?

In my opinion, abandoning the GOP is not the way to "reform" it. That it has to be reformed is beyond question. But it must be reformed from within. The reactionary social agenda must be tempered, and minorities (many of whom share quite a few of the core beliefs of the GOP) must be included to make this party viable again. It is not enough to just wait for the Dems to "screw up".


You make excellent points, and I don't disagree with you, but here's where I am:

  1. I'm not a party insider. I'm just a working stiff who's happy to still have my job in the financial industry, who just happens to blog once in a while.
  2. I think the G.O.P. needs to lose some people to wake it up, because it doesn't appear to be awake yet even in the face of last week's election.
  3. I'd be thrilled to help reform the party if it would listen to what I have to say but the way it's acting right now, my confidence in that actually happening is low.



I live in Orange County, California, oft referred to as the heartland of the Religious Right. For years, I've kept my voter's registration Republican, in hopes that the party would move back toward moderation. That registration also permitted me to vote in Republican primaries for the least-objectionable candidate (who somehow never did get nominated.) But the knee-jerk conservatives that represent my district and county, in Sacramento and Washington, D.C., however, always prevailed. 

What has utterly finished me on the party of Lincoln, however, is McCain's and Palin's accommodation of racist and hateful remarks against Barack Obama. At the very first opportunity, why did neither denounce such comments? I don't mean McCain's tepid defense that Obama is a 'good family man' rather than an Arab, or his 'please' when the crowd booed Obama during McCain's concession speech: I mean a full-on denunciation of the white supremicists and other bigots that are the party's dark side. The Religious Right has worked hand-in-glove with them since the 1960s, making me ashamed to call myself a Christian and a Republican. Because the GOP has not stepped up on this issue, I no longer want my name attached to the party. I'm re-registering as an Independent.

Woohoo! Another OC Republican sees reason. I'm a DTS voter myself.

I was primarily adopting a wait and see approach until Super Tuesday, and after reading/watching/listening to media accounts of the Bush administration's many abuses, I decided there was no possible way I could ever permit the Republicans to retain the White House. The Palin pick and the resulting campaign brouhaha on the GOP side made that tiny speck of a hope for the GOP this year vanish in my mind.


And there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake.

So coincidental to read this...when I got home this evening I found my letter from the supervisor of elections with my new party affilitation: none!

I won't go back to the republican party, because they are now so ignorant  that they think Sarah Palin is our party's future! This is a real joke to me, and if this is where the republican party is headed, I am not going in their same direction for my or my families future. This woman can't make one coherent sentence, and my gosh she distroys the English langage. All English teachers all over the world must be in mourning of the hatchet job she does on it! I agree with Kim! the party has not woke up to smell the coffee yet, and don't know how,where and what to do with itself.
Kim, excellent post!  I really enjoyed reading it! 

Can we just be friends, Kim?


"For those who plan with audacity and execute with vigor,
progress is the magnificent by product." 

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