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"Palinguage" by John Ridley


REPEAT THE FOLLOWING:

If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "token hire."

If you're a conservative and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "game changer."


If you live in an urban area and you get a girl pregnant you're a "baby daddy."

If you're the same in Alaska you're a "teen father." (Actually, according to your own MySpace page you're an F'n redneck that don't want any kids, but that's too long a phrase for the evil liberal media to take out of context and flog morning, noon and night.)


Black teen pregnancies? A "crisis" in black America.

White teen pregnancies? A "blessed event."


If you grow up in Hawaii you're "exotic."

Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, you're the quintessential "American story."


Similarly, if you name your kid Barack, you're "unpatriotic."

Name your kid Track, you're "colorful."


If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual, you're "reckless."

A Republican who doesn't fully vet is a "maverick."


If you say that for the "first time in my adult lifetime I'm really proud of my country," it makes you "unfit" to be first lady.

If you are a registered member of a fringe political group that advocates secession, that makes you the governor's "first dude."


A DUI from 20 years ago is "old news."

A speech given without proper citation from 20 years ago is "relevant information."


And, finally, if you're a man and you decide to run for office despite your wife's recurrence of cancer, you're a "questionable spouse."

If you're a woman and you decide to run for office despite having five kids including a newborn... Well, we don't know what that is 'cause THAT'S NOT A FAIR QUESTION TO ASK.

 ~~~~~~

KJS - 

I took the liberty of posting the above from the article for those on this board that don't take the time to open articles and read them but just reply to replies with hate and ignorance (and you know who you are.)  The effort my be futile, but there's still hope.  They need to read this. 

Thanks, Ellen. 

There are more in Ridley's original article from another website.  I'll take the liberty to paste that below... for those who don't follow the links.

Vol. 2

If you get 18 million people to vote for you in a national presidential primary, you’re a “phoney.”  

Get 100,000+ people to vote you governor of  the 47th most populous state in the Union, you’re “well loved.”

 

SoyAA says: If you are biracial and born in a state not connected to the lower 48, America needs darn near 2 years and 3 major speeches to “get to know you.”  

If you’re white and from a state not connected to the lower 48, America needs 36 minutes and 38 seconds worth of an acceptance speech to know you’re “one of us.”

 

If you give your wife a dap on stage, it’s actually a “terrorist fist jab.”

 If your daughter licks her palm so that she can slick down your youngest child’s hair on national TV it’s an “adorable moment.” (Seriously, forget about abstinence only, teach these folks some grooming skills).

 

DTD SAYS:  If your pastor rails against inequality in the United States of America, you’re an “extremist.”

 If your pastor welcomes a sermon by a member of Jews for Jesus who preaches that the killing of Jews by terrorists is a lesson to Jews that they must convert to Christianity, you’re a “fundamentalist.”

 

If you’re a black man and you use a scholarship to get into college, then work your way up to being the president of the Harvard Law Review, you’re “uppity.”

 If you’re a conservative and your parents pay your way to Hawaii Pacific University . . . you only have four more schools to attend over the next five years before you somehow manage to graduate (it might be five more school over the next five years.  No one has yet verified whether or not Palin was actually ever registered at the University of Hawaii at Hilo.  But, you know how shady people are who ever attended any kind of school in Hawaii).

 

SeanOcali says: If you’re 18, white, and get a 16 year old girl pregnant “life happens.”  

If you’re 18, black, and impregnate a 16 year old girl, you’re a “registered sex offender.”

 

If you spend 18 months building a campaign around the theme of “Change,” it’s just “empty rhetoric.”  

If one week before your party’s national convention you SUDDENLY make your candidacy about “Change,” that’s “red meat.”

 

And your last lesson for the day:

If you are a Democrat, an Independent, or even a moderate Republican, if you’re female, male, white, black, Asian, Hispanic, bi-racial, multi-ethnic, or GLBT, if you’re a Jew, Gentile, Muslim, agnostic or atheist  - “Yes, we can!”

If you’re a pitbull with lipstick from Alaska, “Yup, yup!”

LOL to the last lesson. To funny.
Bravo!
That's brilliant.

 

EXCELLENT and will share with as many people as possible....

Those were awesome!

DEFEAT - using a timetable and guidance from the generals on the ground to bring our troops home and end the war in Iraq

VICTORY - um, we don't know because the Republicans won't tell us

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